A Scott, A Mick and a Regular Midwesterner walk into a Bar...

I love double standards. They are beautiful examples of the axiom "Actions speak louder than words."

The other night, a couple of friends of mine and I went drinking at a posh little place downtown. Somehow, the subject turned to race relations and we found ourselves talking about whether African Americans are allowed to make jokes about white people. Now, personally, I have a rule about this kind of thing, namely the whole "making cracks about other people" thing, and it's that as long as it's not simply mean-spirited, contains a kernel of truth and (most importantly) it's funny, then go ahead and knock yourself out. Of course, I use humor as a sword sometimes, but I try to reserve drawing it for the times I think that someone is picking on someone else.


Why can't we be friends?

Now, I love Dave Chappelle. I think that he's funny and he has a lot of good things to say about a lot of weird things that happen to lot's of folks. However, my Scottish American friend and I found ourselves at cross-purposes on the whole "Chapelle" issue. She felt that because Dave makes the occasional joke about white people, he's fundamentally unfunny and a racist. Now, I'm going to steer clear of the whole "white people have made caricatures out of other human beings for decades while doing terrible things to them" argument because: 1) none of the people at the table were slave owners, segregationists or klansmen and 2) that tactic is reserved for arguing about history with people you don't know the personal habits of. On this particular occasion, I did know the personal habits of my esteemed friend.

First a bit of background, my family name is Irish and, trust me, unless you are an Albino, the only time I'm not whiter than you is when I sing or play the bass guitar. So when I make a crack like, "Fuck us", I'm talking about whites that can't take a joke, but more importantly, I'm talking about what society considers my own kind. Of course, I'm only speaking for myself and I have a thick skin. Make fun of the way I dance, I can take it. If you talk about racism or cops beating black folks up, I'm probably on your side, as I don't participated in either of those things. I'm sorry, but my brain doesn't shut down when I hear someone who isn't white talk about "white people". Either what they say has merit and I pay attention, or it doesn't and guess what? I still have a job, a wife, my self respect and life intact. I've never suffered for being caucasian. I can think something directed towards someone who kinda looks like me sounds stupid without getting worked up about it.

Anyway, like I've said, I know the person getting outraged about hearing jokes about white people and I have something more specific to say about her stance. We watched an episode of Star Search and she loved a joke that a white comedian said that offered, in effect, that if you see a group of people in prison, you know the white guy did it. He's not there because he was profiled or couldn't afford a lawyer. Yet when she and I watched Chappelle the other night, Dave made a joke about when you see a lone white guy hanging out in a group of black people, you know he's the most dangerous guy in the crew because he most have done something crazy to earn their respect. Plus they keep him around to talk to the cops. As far as slander goes, the white comedian said the worse thing about the hypothetical white guy in the joke, yet my friend only got offended when Chappelle did his bit.

It gets better. She and I went dancing (insert joke here) at a club a couple of years ago and she had to calm me down when I overheard a white trash barfly say following charming remark: "What are you smoking menthols for? Those are nigger smokes." Don't worry about it, that's just the way they talk in here... her outrage over the way a white person was talking about black people was virtually non-existant. It was (quite sensibly) more important to her for us to enjoy our evening than it was for me to rip into a stranger I wasn't going to change the mind or behavior of. (Insert dangling participle joke here. I think I'm up to two, so far.) Yet when Dave Chappelle makes a joke about white people, she decides she can't stand him. Interesting...

I willl go ahead and say that my point here isn't to point out an inconsistancy and shreik "AHA!" People of all stripes do this thing where they take more offense at hearing certain things from some people more than others. In high school I saw one line-backer on our football team greet the other one with "Hey fucker!" I don't think the smile he returned that remark with would have appeared for a stranger offering the same thing. I'd also like to say that this story about my friend isn't meant as character assasination, either. She's a great person with a big heart who's friends with a veritable rainbow of people in our social group. Her best friend is Korean, for chrissakes. If you knew her, you'd know she's a great person. She's got a good idea going, "Making cracks about other people isn't right." She just seems to get more worked up when she feels that it's coming at her somehow.


Rush ain't right.

There are other, much worse examples of how the knee-jerk reaction of protecting one's own translates into actual racism, instead of simple inconsistancy. When Rush Limbaugh gets rankled about the fact that the country isn't as careful about the way it talks about whites as it is about blacks, it's said on the heels of decades of public comment carefully devoid of any concern for blacks. Translation: He only cares about the way he thinks he's being treated by extension. He isn't trying to raise the bar for the way people are treated, just white people. Rhetorical gymnastics like that are devoid of empathy. But hey, years of abusing synthetic heroin will do that to a guy. (Insert self-righteous smirk at Rush's expense here) Jesus said to treat others the way that you want to be treated, and that requires being able to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Otherwise a masochist could beat a guy and say, "Jesus, told me to." If you fancy yourself a christian, empathy isn't just a good idea, it's the law. If you, like me, aren't a christian, it's still a good idea, and I think it's worth stealing.

Hmmmm... "Don't make cracks about other people." Maybe, she's onto something...