Weekend Update

A short list of news items from CNN.com that suggest it's probably safer to stay home this weekend:

Actual Situation Comedy:

Clown Robs Bank

And you thought it was hard to sing in public...
Naked karaoke angers neighbors

Catholic Schoolgirls Rule
Girls Chase and Pummel Flasher

Revolvers: When you care enough to shoot someone six times in the face and upper body.

Lawyer Shot Outside Courtroom

And in the "Thank God There Was No Picture" department...
Man Drops Cell Phone In Train Toilet, Jams Arm

Apparently the secret Republican handshake is nothing more than an impromptu hand-squeezing contest:

Bush Stumps For GOP Candidates